Two Flash Fictions (Spring Breakers, Ceremonial Garb) by Marcus Slease


Gerald introduced the movie. He was Navajo. The spring breakers waited for Gerald to finish his shift. They waited outside and smoked 12 Marlboro lights under the awning of an Indian smoke shop. There was a big rubber Indian outside the indian smoke shop.

When Gerald exited the imax movie house one of the spring breakers put her hand over his eyes. The other put her hand over his mouth. Then they giggled. They said: wanna be happy and have fun. They asked Gerald to buy them some Bud Light from the nearby gas station. Gerald said: sure. He went into the shop and bought a case of Bud Light. Then they went to the playground and drank them and smoked Marlboro Lights while swinging on the swings. They swung as high as they could and jumped off the swings into the dirt. They had a contest to see who could jump the furthest. It was a tie. They kept landing in the same spot.

– Do ya’all wanna head up the canyon and sleep under the stars? (said one of the spring breakers)
– Whatdoya say? You got a sleeping bag? (said the other looking at Gerald)

Gerald nodded. Said he could pick them up in his Ford Tempo. His Ford Tempo was a hunk of a car.

– Be back soon. (said Gerald)

When Gerald pulled up in his hunky Ford Tempo the spring breakers began singing their theme song. The theme song was: spring break spring break forever. They sung it really softly. It was a lullaby pop song.

On the way up the canyon one of the spring breakers said: watch this. She undid her seat belt and wrapped it around Gerald’s neck. The other stopped the car by taking over the steering wheel and pushing slowly on the brake pedal. The car didn’t stop slowly. It went off the side of the road in a pile of dust. It didn’t roll down the canyon. It didn’t flip over. There wasn’t an explosion. No one got hurt.

– Would you like a Bud Light? (asked one of the Spring Breakers)

Gerald looked at the spring breaker with the longest hair. She had brown hair and did a guffaw when she laughed. He liked her spacey grin. But he especially liked her peachy lips.

– Sure. (he said)

The spring breakers and Gerald drank Bud Lights on the side of the road looking down into the gaping mouth of the canyon. They went to the trunk and pulled out their sleeping bags. They saw a sign for a trial. They walked along the dirt trial humming Hit Me Baby One More Time.

– So tell us story. (said the spring breaker with the longest hair)
– Yeah. (said Gerald). I am not really into that.
– Oh come on (said the other spring breaker with short short hair and sun kissed lips). You must have some good stories from around her.

Gerald continued to refuse the spring breakers a story. He pulled out a toy pistol and pretend fired into the dirt.

– I am firing into the skirts of my ancestors. (he said)

The spring breakers nodded. They pulled out their i-phones. They looked up dirt. The spring breaker with sun kissed lips read dirt to Gerald:

As cities developed, arrangements were made for the disposal of dirt. The Public Health Act 1875 required households to place their refuse into a container which could be moved so that its contents could be carted away. This was the first legal creation of the dustbin.

Gerald and the spring breakers sat in the dirt for a while and ate an apple. When the long haired spring breaker finished half of her apple she held it to her eye. She held up the half eaten apple to her eye and looked at the short haired spring breaker.

– You’re the apple of my eye. (she said in a sultry voice)

The short haired spring breaker pulled out a pistol. It was a real pistol. She stuck it in her mouth. Then she stuck it in Gerald’s mouth. Gerald sucked the barrel. He sucked the barrel back and forth. Then they laid down in the dirt for a group hug.


Spare Ass Annie was the name of the turtle. It was a warrior turtle. It wore turtle armor and battled giant centipedes. The centipedes were called William Butler Yeats. The centipedes lived in centipede city and the turtle lived in a big box. The big box also had the bones of youthful vigor.

The local priest was authorized to wear ceremonial garb. Once a month he held a festival of youthful vigor. He made everyone kiss the turtle in his box. Then they assumed the position. The position was filth and humiliation.

One day the centipedes caught on. They stopped invading the big box full of the bones of youthful vigor. They lined up their centipede bodies and ate the priest. They made new ceremonial garb. The ceremonial garb was made of meat coats.

Profile: Marcus Slease

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