Three Poems by Leilani Štajer

Could It Be Love?

Is love enough
to pay the rent and pay the bills
or is life pursued
only through survival skills?

Is love enough
to make you forget how you want
others to see you and make your soul feel
dug out like a muddy hole?

Is love enough
to make your heart race like a greyhound on a track,
to make you scream under the sheets like a barefoot raging maniac,
to make you forget the question “What the hell are we all doing here?”

Is love enough
to make you realize that
there is no sadder question in the world

but we are not sad people,
are we?

The road to Vienna

We started our drive
at 7:30 in the morning
and it snowed a bit last night.

It was a cold white day
in Ljubljana’s streets
and they were giving out
hot tea to cyclists.

The road was long
and an emptiness
my lungs
accompanied the emptiness
of the rocky road between
an unfriendly nature.

We stopped before
the Austrian border and
ran through the cold air
to pee

there was a woman
who wanted money from me
but I was like
“hey granny,
I can pee on your
parking space if
you’d like that instead”.

Then I wanted
to buy a coffee
– you know
the kind you buy on the
gas station for
a shiny euro coin
well it wanted
two shiny fuckers
this time

“well fuck you
I want my goddamn
sweet yummy
nectar of gods”

So I put two coins inside
and gave it a
disapproving look
when grabbing the sugar
and heading back
to the car.

But the sneaky bastard
got its revenge
because the coffee was
already sweetened when
I added sugar in it

and the sweet sip burned like
grandma’s chocolate tart
she bakes for christmas
where just one bite
sets your
fucking throat
on fire.

I Love You Guinness, But Not That Much

There once was
a guy
who took me on
a date.
He took me to
a nice place
and ordered me
a nice beer
and we talked about
how awesome he thought
Ireland was.

After the
two hour mono-travelogue
he asked me
what I planned
to study.
I said
that I like
History and English
and he immediatelly
let me know
that I must study
because Ireland.

After the third Irish beer
he asked
if he could give me
a kiss
and when you
ask a question
like that
it’s already too late.

So I had
to pay the bill
because reasons
and I
didn’t mind,
I was just glad
I could go back into
my bed
and think about
how happy I was
I haven’t been
to Ireland

Profile: Leilani Štajer

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