Mar 25
I’m covered in sprinkles and there’s a box of donuts on my bed.

Mar 27
Who has two thumbs and is a total cunt? #thisgirl

Apr 27
[insert tweet bitching about something]

May 12
I legit have no idea what’s going on and for the most part, I’m okay with that. #gowiththeflow

Jun 29
I love you.

Jul 20
Red velvet cupcake… get into my mouth this instant.

Jul 26
Bought more wine. Depression lifted.

Jul 31
I will only have a child if its the small black one from the Lost Boys.

Aug 21
Now that I had half sex with #Tomato I’m kinda over him

Aug 24
Tacos always make your day better

Aug 24
… starting to regret that taco.

Aug 28
Selena and JBiebs is so cute

Sep 1
… really want a pair of sequined hot pants

Sep 11
Bono hit me with a cooler

Sep 12
Dude, I’m the best FB stalker, ever.

Sep 23
Whenever I fly I always hope for a hot and successful guy to sit next to me. Nope its always a family with three kids.

Sep 25
I don’t understand the situations I get myself into sometimes.

Sep 29
Malibu’s Most Wanted is sitting next to me on this plane

Sep 30
Magic

Sep 30
Last night was a fucking movie cliché: First kiss on top of a rooftop overlooking all of Miami.

Sep 30
The Fray, 2 AM Club, and The White Panda for #UBFallFest … who are those people?

Oct 3
Oh no, my boss told me I dressed like a hipster today.

Oct 4
Large iced carmel latte and red velvet cake … breakfast of champions right here.

Oct 4
Just saw a picture of wisdom teeth that were just removed. Excuse me while I vomit up my red velvet cake breakfast.

Oct 5
#puttwowordstogethermakeaninsult = twat waffle #fav

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Profile: Charlotte Zoda