“i deserve to live an unhappy life” by Matt Margo

i feel alone even in the presence of people who do not mind being in my presence

my presence can most accurately be defined as sitting quietly while thinking about a person in a
way in which that person will never think about me

my presence is also characterized by sudden outbursts of passion, usually in the form of a strong
opinion or a stupid joke

at least laughter never needs to mean anything, according to kant

at least if i were to kill myself tonight, i would have already been dead my entire life, according
to every harsh noise wall i have ever heard

at least if i were to lunge at your lips and kiss them right now, i would become dead to you and
everyone we both know and like

and then i would be able to breathe

and then i would be able to pay attention to this lecture on nineteenth century architecture

when i leave this heated building, i will lose all feeling in my face

specks of snow will slap at my eyes, trying to wake me up or knock me down

but i will keep walking until my legs have cracked apart like ice sculptures in earthquakes

grip me like a stone and cast me away; i do not want to find my way back

Profile: Matt Margo