You said that grown women buy their own underwear
This guy that I liked told me that I needed to stop wearing the underwear my mom bought me.
We went to the mall and he stood in the lingerie section with me.
He was selecting and holding up sexy bras and panties over my breasts and my crotch.
I looked at my feet and imagined that I was a Vegas showgirl.
I stared at the racks of lacy exposed garments and touched everything, laughing maniacally.
After I bought them, I went home and put them on. I looked at myself in the mirror and flexed.
when i am wound too tight
i curl my body up
into the fetal position so i can
physically represent how
i feel internally.
with my face pushing into my knees
i allow visions of paradise
and good memories
and smiling babies
to fill the space between my ears.
dinner for the spiders
oh the dishes in my sink
are piling up
i know that i should
attend to them
but i am preoccupied
with the gnats
as they float
around in our dirty dish water
like synchronized swimmers.
will have be having
You asked me if I liked men with accents,
and I looked at you funny because
you already know the answer
I want to die on this couch
I could see myself rotting away in someone’s living room.
And my last sentence before I die would be,
“take me to the taxidermist”
So I could be ripped apart and sewn back together to be
displayed somewhere the children could see me, out in the open, right on the corner, sitting on a moldy couch for all eternity
with a look of discomfort and confusion permanently glued onto my face.
I wonder what this says about me as a person.
Profile: Sarah San